OH MY LORD JESUS PLEASE REMOVE THIS FROM MY BRAIN!!!

Why oh why did I click on to Good Day, LA this morning?  Why oh why did I not immediately change the channel when I heard the words "condom catheter"?  And for fuck's sake why didn't I beat my curiosity into submission when I saw that they were showing a clip from the Dr Murray/Michael Jackson trial?

So here I sit with the image of a dead, naked Michael Jackson with a plastic bag around his genitals with a catheter coming out of the bag and connected to a container of piss.

I refuse to hear anything else about this trial.

Random Stuff I Saw

Spotted:  1.)  A very acceptable vehicle.  2.)  A thing.

Possible Mental Breakdown

Yesterday morning while I was brushing my teeth I suddenly started thinking about the card game Old Maid.  Just out of the blue.  I hadn't thought of that game in at least 25 years.  I wish it had stayed that way because now I'm questioning my sanity.

I thought about how this poor caricature is based on women who were shunned and unwanted in real life.  To have their misery and shame mass produced as hilarious children's entertainment surely had the effect of compounding the old maids' humiliation.

This random stream of thought then struck me as possibly the most random stream of thought I'd ever had.  I got the giggles thinking about the randomness.  This led to all out mouth-wide-open cackling at the thought of these cards lamenting their position in life as the pariahs of their card communities as well as at the fact that I was actually having these thoughts.

It was a strange sight with me laughing uncontrollably with toothpaste foam dribbling out of my mouth...

Poor lady with her sad little Admit One ticket...and the hats, my God the hats!

Freedom Of Oppression

Fighting for the freedom to be oppressed?  Is that a paradox or ironic?  Muslim ladies in France are protesting for their freedom, but their freedom is oppression.  I've never paid much attention to any religions outside of the Colossal Clusterfuck that is Christianity so I don't have an educated opinion about these niqab/hijab combos or burkas.  My initial reaction is that abuse victims become accustomed to the abuse and can't imagine anything else.

Calling Neo...

Okay so I'm sure most people had this stuff in high school, but Maben High School was not trying to offer anything this complex.  I'm seeing it for the first time.  Professor Fuddle (this is my new nickname for him) teaches in a way that makes it seem as if he's thinking out loud.  It's almost like he hasn't prepared a lesson plan; he's just winging it and offering points as they occur to him.  Well, he seemed especially fuddled last night and the class was becoming more and more confused as he was "explaining" the matrix concept to us.

Dude, I felt like I was in "The Matrix" and Prof. Fuddle was the Oracle.  (could not resist that)

I was going to try to navigate this class without getting the book but after last night, Chegg please!

Now, the concept isn't really all that complex, it's just like solving systems of linear equations with multiple variables but SHEESH Fuddle was just in his own world for a bit there.  Huh, now I want to watch "The Matrix" again...that movie never gets old.  **On a side note:  Professor Speed was sweating profusely at the beginning of class on Wednesday night...I'm thinking the nickname may be more apt than I realized.**

Highs & Lows: Season Opener Edition

Lows:  1.)The Giants lost. 2.) Fox cut to the end of the game just in time for me to see them lose.

Highs: 1.) Fox actually cut to the game so I could see some of it. 2.) Eli ran a ball in for a touchdown! (Go Eli!) 3.) New Eli butt shots!

Angry Sober Man Commits Abortion

His eyes were annoying me so I chose my right to not be annoyed and aborted him.  Now he's just a mangled mess, mocking me with his staring eyes and partial head...I think I'll have Pepsi and drumsticks now.

Can I At Least Get A Drink First?

Spotted off of Sunset Blvd...

Oooo, Pretty Colors!!!

**PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE ASHY LEGS, FRANKIE, I'VE BEEN WEARING LONG PANTS AND HAVE HAD NO REASON TO PUT LOTION THERE.**

These lovely and colorful bruises are a week old and are still going strong.

I have one on my hip also, but since we are no longer taking those kinds of photos, I didn't include that area.

There once was a man from Adaton.

He drank 'til his eyelids weighed-a-ton.

Encountered a wall,

Proceeded to fall,

Gravity he just didn't reckon on.

Just In Time For My Back To School Math Drama

Spotted in the newspaper today:  This episode of Frazz made me laugh out loud for real.  My boss started snickering at me.

Queue Up Patsy...

Saw this picture of Eli Manning...IIIII fall to piiiieeeces!!  In other words, I like this picture much.