Archangel Michael In Progress

As soon as I complete this I will put it on my drawing blog.

This might possibly...possibly...be very poor French.

New Sign Spotted Along Santa Monica Blvd Stroll!

I like this picture you sent, Frankie.  Of course my first thought was, "No vending?  This must be directed at the dear little hustlers."  Doesn't everything lead me back to thoughts of hustlers and their fantastically scandalous lives?

I'm not sure where you spotted this but I think they should be posted up and down Santa Monica Blvd just to add an extra element of lawbreaking to picking up hookers.  Do men still prostitute themselves along Santa Monica?  I should go walking down there one Saturday to check it out.  Actually no, that would involve being in the sun and being around humans, two things that give me a headache. 

Frankie Spotted Something Creepy But Cool...

When Gravity Attacks

Was it a festive evening ending in calamity?  A run at a hip new urban sport ending in calamity?  My own brand of plain-ol' clumsy ending in calamity?  Red Line run-in ending in calamity but not a glass eye? 

So many questions...so few answers...so many me not seeing him at the Spotlight...

So Get THIS, Frankie!!

Okay, so I go out Saturday morning to the Spotlight and was feeling all drunk from the night before.  Instead of taking my normal seat at the end of the bar near the bathroom, I sat at the front talking with Percy and Mark.  Now, Mark has let it be known several times that he has some kind of problem with me but it's always when he's really drunk so I just always assume it's the beer talking.

So we're in some conversation that I don't remember and at one point I laughingly say that I was going to pour my beer on him.  His whole demeanor changes and then he gets up and pours his beer on me!  I know, right?!  I felt like one of those cads or vixens in 1930's movies that were always getting drinks thrown in their faces!  It was quite fabulous and I had a very good laugh about it later.

I hate you had to miss this spectacle because it was some grand entertainment.  Unfortunately I wasn't wearing any eyeliner so there was no smeared eye-makeup to make it that much crazier.  Now, that would've been a sight!  Normally, I just like to watch the drama rather than be a part of it, but...eh...we all have to do our part for the cause of "atmosphere" right? **laughing**

I Seem To Recall This Persona...

Sexy Benji sent me this photo from my evening at The Spotlight last night (which, by the way, unfortunately did not include an appearance by Frankie).  I remember having a long conversation with this persona, but I did get an antagonistic feeling when I saw the photo.  I'm thinking I was secretly hating him because his skin is clearer than mine and he doesn't have a missing tooth.  BITCH!!

Hmmmm, all this talk about the Spotlight is making me want to go and play Ain't No Way on the jukebox and annoy Tony...

Doing My Part For The Obesity Movement

So here we have my breakfast, Frankie.  Yes!  Two hotlinks and a 2 liter of Pepsi!!!  I was telling Leo that I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the bus window and I looked like a Pez dispenser.  I've decided that I may have overdone the weight loss thing.  Huge heads don't look right on skinny bodies.  I even got off my lazy butt and picked up my dumbbells for the first time in months.  OUCH!!

Almost done with school this semester!  Another couple of weeks and I'll never have to look at those idjits in my Business group project again!  I'm bracing myself for a B in that class.  I want to take Math 125 over the summer so I can get caught up to regular college mathematics but I would have to take it on a different campus.  I suppose that would be fine but you know how I hate mixing up my routine!

If you get a second, Google Cliff Jensen (Oooo, that sailor hat!  Take me, Jeebus!) and tell me...am I crazy or is this the Sexiest Man Alive?  Him and Tommy Defendi are running neck and neck as my ultimate stalk/kidnap/taxidermy victim.  What?

Make sure you check out the story about Obama releasing his fake birth certificate and how Trump mistakenly thinks he is the Hero of America when all he did was force Obama to rush out and get this forgery made so he could quell the storm of patriotic intelligentsia who were rightly convinced that the state of Hawaii pulled off a 46 year conspi...wait, how old is Obama?...a 40+ year conspiracy to get this man elected just to piss off the whole of the New Confederacy.  Was that a run-on sentence?  Cakesters!

And You Wonder Why I Drink, Frankie?

Lost keys, drunken behaviour that went beyond my normal embarrassment threshold, a criminal record, play sold out after I used a bus token to get to the theater, and that dreaded Business project that is failing before my very eyes...the week of April 3-April 9 was officially the Worst Week EVER!!!

Granted the criminal record is just an infraction for...**grits teeth**...fare evasion on the Orange Line (an honest mistake, dumb but honest), but I do not like having a criminal record!!  Now if anybody checks my record they'll see that and think I'm some kind of deadbeat.

Okay, so the group project in Business class is not a total failure.  I just feel like our supposed group leader is an idiot and doesn't know what he's doing.  Yeah, just that is all.

I waited a week to post this because I'm actually in a very positive mood right now, and last week is funny to me now.  Had I posted it last week, I'm sure it would've been riddled with curse words and self-pity.  Of course, my "humor" also sounds like self-pity so...no difference really?  Imagine me chuckling and flailing my hands around for dramatic effect to differentiate between self-pity and self-deprecation.

Oh, and a couple of random photos and non-stalkerish behaviour...

Algebra DRAMA!!: Funky Moron Episode...

So I get to Algebra class last night, remove my coat and all of a sudden...body funk!!  I am so bad about not doing a wash in forever that I ended up digging out a shirt to wear that had armpit odor.  I tried to wipe the shirt on my armpits so my deodorant would get on the cloth.  No good.  I. Was. Mortified.  Why did my shirt not give me a heads up to the funk BEFORE I got to class?  So then we start doing word problems, which never fail to confuse me to no end.  I don't know if I was distracted or what but, I was doing the equation right but messing up on the simple multiplication!!  This of course led to me doing some extremely long decimal answer when, had I done the multiplication right, the actual answer was much easier.

Curses to you, green henley!

On to the moron part of the title.  It took me 3 days to figure out this word problem:

"A boat makes a round trip from the mainland to a fishing village in 6 hours.  If the average speed of the boat while going to the village is 15 miles per hour, and the average speed while returning is 12 miles per hour, find the distance between the village and the mainland."

Frankie, when I finally came up with the right equation, I was like...man what a moronica!!!  3 DAYS!!!

Ch-Check It Out, Indeed!!

Frankie, if you get a chance to listen to this, tell me how utterly and completely this WOULD NOT go over if I played it on the Spotlight jukebox!

I'm thinking, "Wow, this is, like, the hottest song ever!"

Happy New(ly shorn toe nail) Year!!

So I finally decided to clip my jacked up toe nails last night.  Nobody ever sees my feet, so I feel no compunction to keep them at all presentable.  This hard-as-diamonds clipping came off of my big toe.  It had started snagging on the elastic in my socks so something had to give. (This picture makes me want to get my palm read...)

I'll be ringing in the New Year at the newly reprieved Spotlight Bar.  Yes, it is the dreaded Karaoke night, but I'm holding out hope against hope that they are actually going to have strippers tonight.  It's a special occasion!!  There should be dancers!!  Of course, I know there will be no dancers, but one can fantasize.  At least karaoke keeps me from wasting my shekels in the jukebox (wasted because we all know Robbie would put in whatever large amount, do "Play Mine First" on all of his selections and keep us in dreary slow jazz for 3 hours.) and keeps them going to beer, where they should be going.  Let there be slut-baggery going on that I can ogle from the sidelines and get a vicarious thrill!!

Let there be Frankie!!

Let me not try to get into that red tank top because I feel too bloated to wear it!!  Let there be a Lakers game on so I can eyeball Shannon Brown and Luke Walton!!  Let me not get the evil eye because I insist on playing "Whip My Hair" again!!

Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Squat...

What kind of mailing list am I on?!?! ...Oh, yeah, that one...

Of course neither you nor I would be "open" to such toys, Frankie.  Frankie?

***ASS DESTRUCTION!!  HAAAA!!!***

Back To The Drawing Board, Frankie!!

The actual outline isn't on a slant like this; however, the bloodletting is real.  It looks a lot worse than it is (convincing self).

On a side note:  I heard the best phrase!  Instead of "Shut the fuck up!" you say "Shut the front door!"  I know, riiiiight?  So if you hear me saying "Shut the front door, oh-my-god!" you'll know why.  This will go perfectly with "Tic Tac NOOOO!!" which I can't remember where I heard.

A Plumper?

I almost want to go out tonight just so I can try out this new mascara.  It says it is a lash plumper?  Plump lashes?  Supposedly, it can plump up to 12 times more impact!!  Beware my spider leg eyes the next time you see me, Frankie...Tammy Faye rises!!  If it's not too hot and uncomfortable on Sunday, that is.  

Cuz I do hate when I'm wiping copious amounts of sweat off my face only to end up accidentally wiping away my carefully overdone hooker eye makeup.