Showing posts with label Paul Ryan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paul Ryan. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Feverish Dreams Of Paul Ryan Lead To Rambling Nonsense



Rep. Paul Ryan paced slowly back and forth in his office.  He was having trouble keeping his mind on his work as he felt that familiar but inconvenient feeling coming over him.  It started as a warm tingling in his chest that then began to spread all over his body; his overwhelming love of country couldn't be suppressed.  He began to unbutton his blue twill shirt, exposing his black chest hairs peeking out of the neck of his white undershirt.  His breath quickened as he slid his hands lightly down the soft cotton fabric.  He glanced at the door to make sure it was locked and made his way over to his chair.

Paul began to massage his firm thighs through the creased and starched fabric of his khakis.  He let his mind wander.  The thought of private insurance companies getting a huge windfall from all those senior healthcare vouchers caused a stirring in his pants.  He spread his legs a little to accommodate his growing erection.  "Unregulated rate increases, limited services, arbitrarily dropped coverage...unhhh...," he moaned as his hand moved closer to his cock.  He resisted the urge to go for his zipper and gently stroked his hard dick through his pants.  "Yeah, baby, the stock market...unnhhh, oh yeah...privatize that Social Security...yeessss...don't worry, baby, it's safe"

Paul felt himself getting close to the edge.  He grinded his hips against his hand and felt the pressure building in his crotch.  "Oh God, unnnh, God...class warfare...except...when...it's...directed at the poor!  Oh God, oh yeah!!"

"Let them eat caaaaaake!!"  he shouted as he shot a wad of cum inside his creased and starched khakis.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Paul Ryan's Hair Is Pretty


While watching Rep. Paul Ryan's animatronic double (A definite victory in Tokyo robotic achievement!) deliver an oddly haltingly-speech-patterned (bugs, they'll fix that in the next model) response to the State of the Union address the other day, I could only think...such nice hair.  Did they use real human hair or is it some new synthetic?

Earnest fellow, very telegenic.  I did find myself developing a bit of a crush, wanting to muss his hair...we could raid Boehner's liquor stash for a quick belt or two, sing "Lift Every Voice and Sing" at the top of our lungs in the empty chambers and finally drunkenly crash into each other's arms for a round of stoic, analytical foreplay topped off with me giving him an efficient blowjob...stoically.